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1. Your wife/husband is already having counter-revolutionaries over for fondue behind your back while you're in the war room.
2. You have a nagging suspicion that something is wrong with your Art Director's idea to deck out all the soldiers in neon camouflage for the invasion as it's much less drab, but can't figure out why.
3. You have an Art Director.
4. The fact the swimwear and tap contest division is receiving one quarter of your annual world invasion budget and still 'just not getting it right'.
5. Fears of breaking a nail.
6. Your plans have been getting WAY too much input from one of those plastic eight ball predictors.
7. According to a recent poll seven out of ten people on the planet just don't think they'd 'be into' being subjugated and/or enslaved by someone as unattractive and out of shape as you are.
8. Suicide commandos got the memo wrong and are all dead.
9. Your ideological propaganda machine's best slogan is 'Don't Worry, Be Happy... Or We Kill you.'
10. Goon strike.
11. Richard Gere got into the evil gerbil warfare division and you can't make him leave.
By: Daniel Smallegange
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