I Like Swearing (A Drinking Song)

I like swearing
It makes me feel happy
If you don't like me swearing
Why don't you fuck off

I like singing
It makes me merry
If you won't join my singing
Then you can stagger off

I like drinking
It takes away the pain
If you don't like my drinking
Then you can be the one................
Oh you can be the one my dear...........
The one that does abstain

(Chorus sung slowly)
Ohhhhhh
Why don't you piss off
You shant spoil my fun
If you don't like me swearing
At least then pass the rum

I like to run and play
It makes me free
If you don't like my running
Then stop your chasing me

I like climbing
I'll use you as my rungs
If you don't like it brother.............
I said if you don't like it sister.......
Then you just bite your tongue

(Chorus repeats)

by Daniel Smallegange, esquire.

Frozen Wood

Because frozen wood
Don't burn so good
I wish you were here
But not for your cheer
All your hot air
And the fire of your stare
Would thaw out the wood
And it would burn good

By Daniel Smallegange

Can't Decide

I am unwhole
I am unwell
Could not decide whether the faculties
Were bruised or damaged beyond
Could not decide whether heart bled into brain
Or vice versa
Can't decide
Whether it's her's or mine
Can't or won't
It's always mine
I feel a hole
I feel unwell
Whether it's her's
Or mine
I am un satisfied and defied with
Blemished tears which smell of
Whiskey and disinfectant
There are facilities to which
One may run
There are other's arms in which
One may hide
Shovelers to fill
This hole inside
I am un well
Trouble deciding
Whether key faculties
Damaged beyond

By: Daniel Smallegange

Hip Priest

Hip priest shouts sweet toasts
Shoots from the lips to your
Sweet gyrating hips
Sends shivers to the stratosphere
Of my inner ear
Hip priest
Hip priest
Stalwart minds
Pinprick eyes
Squinting at me
As if through the sun
Like one trying to see behind
Like one trying to find
A truth or maybe pleasant lies
Pinprick eyes

Hip priest shouts in the foreground
Dead letters are in the background
Your sweet gyrating hips the subtext
Sends shivers create tremors
Glimmers of your own one true self
The things I want to do to you
The things I want to do to you
Would make Nero blush

And there's the hip priest
Shouting sweet toasts
In the background
Hip priest Hip Hip
He got a hiss
And a lisp and drooling now
All over the bar
Shiver shiver
The things I want to do to you
The things I want to do to you
Sending me shivers
The way you do
And only you

By: Daniel Smallegange

My E-book: 'The City: Tales from the Post-Post Apocalypse' is now available on Amazon. How nifty!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GW2YQ96

NEWS FROM THE FRONT LINES OF OUR WAR AGAINST THE HATED S.G.C.D.A.

Greetings loyal party member from The Society for Evil, Debauchery and Kitten Appreciation.

News from the front lines in our war with hated enemies the nefarious and notoriously clean-cut Society for Good, Chastity and Dog Appreciation. The war grinds on taking a serious and heartbreaking toll. This tragically both in time and underwear. Time which would be better spent on eating our body weight in cheese, for example, or with mammary manipulation perhaps.

But we digress.

A most serious setback in the war on Decency occurred when SGCDA forces attacked our Lubrications and Olfactory Assassinations Department, who's research into developing killing methods that smell really terrific was severely interrupted by three Swedish blonde women who hacked the entire department of scientists to pieces before they could even hit on them or let alone try out some of the new lubricant. They will be sorely missed. They died smelling fantastic.

Also a cyber attack on the orgynarium's power supply caused complete confusion and chaos and a total collapse of Commandant BillyRayBoy's efforts to 'get it on' with several mute chimpanzees and the Donnelly twins. The mood for the evening was utterly ruined and although the twins were fine the chimps will need severe psychiatric counselling. But then again this was likely to happen anyway, knowing BillyRayBoy's eccentric proclivities as we do. However, in a glass half full kind of way, the cover band BillyRayBoy had hired for the night did manage to drown in the pool in all the confusion before they could do 'Stairway to Heaven'.

These deadly blows have left our not so humble society reeling. War is hell, but we must march on: swaying, sipping from cigars, and puffing on rye and cokes, pawing at each other, you know... having a rest, waking up late, bleary eyed, marching on a little bit more...

This message brought to you by the Kareful Kitty Booze Consortium: Why not buy a kitten a bottle of hooch today?

By: Daniel Smallegange

Life in the Petri Dish

By: Dan Smallegange