In the inner sanctum
The inner reaches
Of my heart
Curled up and crouched
Protector and defiler
Waiting
Silent and deadly
The scorpion
Both messenger and message
Beauty and vengeance
Violence and peace
Ever cold the scorpion
At home in the fiery centre
Waiting immobile to catch
You, the thief of hearts
You, the transgressor of
Mind and body and soul
The infiltrator come
To taste my heart
To taste the vision
Granted from the scorpion's sting
In the inner sanctum
The inner reaches
Of my heart
By: Daniel Smallegange
1 comment:
I like the repetition i.e. beginning and ending of piece; it's perfect! Also how this topic allows you to explore opposition/duality.
Only changes I would suggest:
[...] = REMOVE (...) - Add/shift
Waiting
Silent and deadly
[The scorpion]
Both messenger and message
Beauty and vengeance
Violence and peace
Ever cold(,)[the scorpion](at home)
In the fiery centre
Waiting immobile to catch
You(,) [the] thief of hearts
You(,) [the] transgressor of
I would also reconsider the title to something that abstractly suggests both violence and beauty in the same breath.
Hope this is useful. Thanks.
p.
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