Saturday, 6 December 2014

Heart Jacker Soul Ripper

Heart jacker, soul ripper
I have been called many names
I can be stalled
But only momentarily
I like your eyes
Blue eyes which evolve
And turn purple
Walking through fire or water
Either for or
Against me
Your will is steel drenched in lilacs
You are strong
But no one resists
Curses and caresses
All have been offered
All have been
Heart ripper, soul jacker
Your eyes they are proud and
They just might give you
A fighting chance

Friday, 5 December 2014

I Crushed a Can at Midnight

I crushed a can at midnight
And I sunk too deep
I thrashed around to music
While all the gods did sleep
Dancing with the stars
Fronting like a Tsar
An island on my own
Hissing at the flames
Begging for the rains
While I crushed a can

I crushed another
It was then that I
Began to wonder
How it all began
Where it was she ran
And how the times do change
Until I danced this free
I sang for solace and revenge
Alone alone at midnight
Where I crushed a can

I crushed and crushed and crushed them all
Until my vision swam
I railed and cried and gnashed my teeth
Coughed and puked and staggered
And then I took to swagger
And walked the pain away
Until the moonlight
Ran from me like rain
And the dawn arrived
To whom I crushed another can

Saturday, 4 October 2014

The Nexus Place part one

My epic sci-fi horror novel 'The Nexus Place part one' is now available on Itunes, Kobo and Amazon and Nook. Selling it for a song (literally: $1.99 for a limited time). Please be supportive and spread the word to fans of edgy action sci-fi horror).

Sunday, 14 September 2014

Uncommon Things

I like uncommon things
You, you are uncommon
With your grey eyes of shale
And your back scratching nails
Your proximity is pleasing
When you press me tight
Your mantra so ungodly
Long live the unholy kind
With the holy airs
And the listless stares
Like you

Your smile sinister
I caught you in a moment
Of weakness
Your fingers buried
Eyes clasped tight
Uncommon and fluid
Your eyes and your ideals
Let's dance the path of
War an' anarch
We'll bend and seek out
The stubborn truth
We'll paint this town
Black and blue
My teeth barred
Your jaw set

Sunday, 31 August 2014

Skin and Bone

I am intrepid and you are
Doomed to watch my lank presence
Slowly fade
I look at you askance
As I dance a treat in rising moonlight
Slowly fade
In your own vision only
As the drugs you've chosen
Take effect
Don't blink too often as the image greys
Don't sigh too loudly as my grin trembles
I am less than righteous and you are bound in
Skin and bone
A prison of your own making
Doomed to watch
My teeth glitter and my eyes lash you
With greater intoxicants
Than all the rest administered
You who were once the master
Are now beneath the measure
Of servitude
And doomed to watch my shift in weight
Through eyes grown heavy
Lank and with sinister zeal
I watch your breath grow calm

Monday, 11 August 2014

Darren the Dazzler

Darren the dazzler
Oh fear all you friends
His seductive charm
His impossible smile
Oh Darren the dazzler
Be wary
Be wary, friends...
The glint in his eye
His ridiculous ire
His impossible mind
Be warned, be wary
When he gets in his cups
When he gets in his cups he too
Loses him self
Oh Daren the dazzler
He'll take you in to
The gates of heaven
An' all seven layers
Of hell
Oh sweet uncouth prince
He swears in his soup
Darren so dazzled
Can't help but bedazzle

Lock up your sons and daughters
As Darren does an' will
Infect you all
With that glint in his eye
His impossible smile
Darren the Dazzler
Does dazzle all
Who enter his range
Unto the beginning or in to
Your end

Monday, 4 August 2014

Oh Won't You Dear Kindly (a love song)

Oh, won't you kindly
Bring me that needle
Oh that I might sew up my heart
Oh, won't you dear kindly
Just bring me that sparrow
That it might just soothe my distress
Oh, won't you friend kindly
Just bring me an arrow
As cupid this time has miss fired
Oh oh oh..... then...
Won't you sir kindly,
Pretty please sir kindly
Darn you're so kind to
Oh hand me a flame thrower
So I might vent fury
Oh I might vent furry
On all of her wardrobe
An' record collection
As I am kind of pissed off

Thursday, 3 July 2014

In Amsterdam

Remember when I cried
And then you sat on my lap
And kissed away my tears?
That is romantic!
I was fucked up for a year
But that was romance!
I miss that kind of feeling
I don't feel that way for you any more
But that was feeling
Do you ever feel alone?
And after that we made love
And there was the blood
And you were ashamed until I was not
And we laughed about it
And then went to the communal shower
And washed it all off
In Amsterdam
I was so poor
You in your artist's squat
The kind that was fashionable
I know you won't respond to this letter
But it feels good to me to write
I am doing well now
You'd like my little house in Toronto
So sheltered and quiet, enshrouded
Both in back and front
By hills and trees
I am writing this song now as I type
It is for me now
Not for you

Sunday, 29 June 2014

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Blood and Treasure

The cost in blood and treasure
Your beauty inflicts
Is draining on
My economy of resource
Your cheekbones have laid the siege
But your intellect is alone enough
To bring me to my knees
Recourse and resistance
The high cost in
Blood and treasure
My will to fight is shattered by
Your light hearted laughter
So fraught with danger
That shy mischievous smile
Triggers Klaxons
All the things you do to my
Your eyes like claws
They tear at me
On my heartstrings and other tender
The cost in blood and treasure grows
With no end in sight

Sunday, 27 April 2014

When I Look Into Your Eyes

When I look into your eyes
And see the fires
Of your ambition kindled
It makes me shudder
But in a good way to see
You've such intention
To light so many fuses
With your invention
To compromise the users
Blow them all away
I envy you in this matter
Gives you such a swagger

And if you please
Come you here
Come to me and let me look at your
Pale drawn lines
And at your wild hindered eyes
Burning as they do intense
Come and cease your trembling
A fury's touch
Pent up desire
Embrace me in the mire
So we can rise
Annex my mind
We shall remake the lies
Turn the past into ash
Scattered to the breeze
Take my hand and walk with me
You can heal what ails me
And I thee
When I look into your eyes I see
My fires reflected

Monday, 14 April 2014

Make Truth Your Cud

If the truth is disagreeable
Eat it whole
Force it down
When you puke it out
It will be
More digestible
Be like the cow
Make truth your cud

Saturday, 22 March 2014

But This Time Neat

I was called an unfortunate event
The other moment
And it felt like a temptation
It felt like a blow
It made me
Think of redemption
Before I poured that glass of scotch
And then I sat there brooding
And then I thought of all that I had loved and
Those who'd maybe even loved me
And I sat and sipped all alone
As the fire crackled
And a spider crawled along the wall and I watched it
It moved with grace and I sipped and
The ice went chink in my glass
And I thought some more and I
Watched the spider leave
As things inevitably do
And I thought to myself
About being called
An unfortunate event
And wondered at why I would be so mean to
As to call myself that
And I rose and poured another glass
Of scotch
But this time

The Society for Evil, Debauchery and Kitten Appreciation Presents: The Terror Syndrome Known as Love.

Yes, True Love. It can be a real thorn in the side of any evil corporation, dark empire or cuddly revolutionary group trying to take over the planet. Especially if this terrible, maddening disease gets at those people at the top. Suddenly generals known for cruelty and a mentality hard as nails are wanting to buy everyone an aperitif and trade sappy anecdotes. Suddenly absolute rulers fists are not at all iron-like, but as malleable as a small duck who's been plied with several rounds of tequila. They get all mooshey and cow eyed and grin inanely when they should be minging mercilessly. Yes indeedy, Love is a bane, true danger, and cause for worry in any 'Number 2' worth his or her salt and pepper.

Yes, when thus afflicted the newly smitten seem to want to forgive everyone and inflict on them uncomfortable hugs and icky warm embraces. They'll decide not to drop captured agents in that vat of acid or giant fishbowl de-la-piranha, but rather bore then to death by telling them all about the handsome man or gorgeous gal they're into. It is a serious problem this thing called LOVE and when they at the top become afflicted only trouble may result. Averting catastrophe in the early stages can be your only hope. Besides happy people fucking suck. Let's repeat that:


Always smiling inanely and floating about the room and bringing the normal miserable rest of us down.

So, here below are some helpful hints and pointers on how to determine if yes, the evil overlord is in love, the head of the assassin's guild is in love, or even the head waiter is indeed afflicted with that dreaded virus: love. (No one likes a blissful head waiter grinning like an ass who can't concentrate on what the h'ordeuvres are.)

Your Overlord is in Love if:

1) He starts wearing snappy fashionable clothing in vivid pastels instead of the requisite black and brooding. Also, you can see his teeth way more often in what may be described as some kind of inverted grimace previously foreign to him.

2) The boss's evil cat is decidedly scratchy to the staff and in a foul, jealous mood, having had to share the bed in the evil lair of late with the new love interest, or worse, been confined to the couch!

3) The execution squad has so much time off they've begun to learn pinochle and to finally get right all the moves to 'Achey Breaky Heart'.

4) The evil general's assignments move from devastating and ruthless attacks against dreaded mortal enemies The Society for Good, Chastity and Dog Appreciation to trips to the chocolate shops and redecorating books crop up on the evil coffee tables.

5) And lastly, there is a final dread symptom that marks the death knell of any evil society, this being the initiation of bad poetry. Poetry is tried out on the under staff to 'see what you think and if she'll like it'. Poems recited nervously on the love interest's joyously large buttocks and streamingly luxurious armpit hair are to be especially feared.

Dealing with Evil Goons in Love:

Just shoot them.
Goons can be replaced. Or grow more in the ol' cloning pond down by the way. No one likes a goon chattering on and on about how he's met his absolute soul mate anyways, when he should be pounding his sledge-like fists into an opponent's sternum. With goonery silence is always the golden rule.

On Dealing with Your Evil Overlord After He's Been Dumped:

Well, sometimes bosses kill their Number 2s through 20s when pissed off/heartbroken/impotent/et cetera, so you are may be dead already. If you somehow survived a purge (Stalin was famous for his purges after one of his many blind dates had gone awry or even slightly awkward) then you may want to focus this new rage into a small war or well, anywhere but directed at you. OR you can get him some ice cream. Everyone loves ice cream when they're down, even evil geniuses. And perhaps lace it with barbiturates.

Love a kitten and kill a martini today.

Friday, 14 March 2014

Sunday, 23 February 2014

'The Nexus Place: Book One' by Daniel Smallegange Released on Kindle & Itunes

Four individuals from different worlds face certain death. A gunfighter is cornered after being hunted by a band of vicious warriors. An assassin is to be sacrificed via electric crucifixion. A swordsmen fights to the death in an arena of futuristic blood sport. And a teenager from our world is pushed by a serial killer under a speeding car. All four are saved at the instant before death in a whiff of red mist. When they awake they find themselves in the realm of the techno-mage Kyrinn, and find also there is a price for his intervention. They have been rescued only to be sent on a suicidal mission to save his only heir from an unknown foe in a terrible world made up of stolen lands. Either agree to the techno-mage's terms or be returned to the exact moment before their deaths. With no other choice the four strangers accept, but first they must go to Alex's great city where the only known portal to the secret realm exists, itself a terrifying deathtrap, and this is just the beginning.

Only $5.99 Please pass this on if you think it's interesting. Thanks for your support! Coming soon to I-Book and Nook.

Thursday, 6 February 2014

Troubling Times

Troubling times and a lack of cause
This coupled with
Too much effect
And the miseries that accompany such things
Troubling times and
The disconcerting results of love
Trains rushing headlong at
Improbable speeds
Rushing us towards unhappy results
The wisdom of this clearly

Lines of calculation
Undeniable in the offset
Too many tests
Too many white coats
Prodding and needling
The uncontrollable shaking of
Lie low and dig yourself deep into
Your own malcontent
Bury your head in the sediment and only then
Open your eyes so that you may
Sleep without fear

Troubling climes and a snowball effect
Rings through the valleys of
Your sliding doubt
Brings your heart to irregular
Rhythms and causes your dance to be
Stilted and applauded only by
The disciples of Vitus
Troubling times and a lack of
Braces and mounts on which
To grasp

Friday, 24 January 2014

I Ate a Gun With Mixed Results (Or is Death the End?)

I ate a gun and then she said
Baby that is coward talk
Or at least I think it is
But I can't understand you
So can you please remove the gun
From your oral hole please
So we can talk
And I did and then I told her that all
Love is fleeting and death is the only
Embrace that lasts a lifetime and she said
I can understand you much better, see my love
Without you deepthroating that revolver and also
Death is not the end
It's just a way to avoid paying any more taxes to
The government
Damn the government I roared and then more loudly
And an end to ice cream trucks!
And then I recanted and told her instead my dream about opening
A muffin boutique in Antarctica
They really love muffins there and they're sold for their
weight in herrings
But she slapped me and shouted!
Fool, how will you unfreeze the dough!

And I toyed with the gun and she
Ground her teeth in despair and said:
Death Is not the end, would you stay on topic please?
Now kiss me on the mouth
Death is not the end, I intoned. Not even in Cleveland?
There they have elevator music, she said, my tongue in her ear
I always get ears and mouths mixed up
And then she forced us apart
But what about love I said, surely it transcends death
and she laughed bitterly and explained how a squirrel once had stolen
A raisin crumble from her
We pondered the symbolism of this in despair
And I fondled the gun, like a lover and she said
And maybe if you ate some rye bread and peanut butter
Instead of that gun you would see
That it tastes much better and also
That it will leave less of a mess on the walls
When you pull the trigger
On the sandwich, I said, They have triggers now?
She then looked sadly, out to the sea, which was odd
As we lived in Manitoba
So I put down the gun to get her attention
I pine for the sea, she said, but it is not for we
For us we can have this
And she placed a toaster on my lap
Which she had been hiding under her dress
Almost in a religious trance she put in the bread
We watched until it popped and she said
Peanut butter can be the doorway to new worlds and perceptions
That's deep, I said
She put down the toaster
Yes, especially if you get the two gallon pail
We pondered this for three hours
That was when she hit me with a baseball bat
She also had spirited under her dress
That's a really big dress, I exclaimed, before hitting the floor
Toast crumbs went flying everywhere
I tried to dive to protect her from the crumbs
But I was on the floor
And the gun went off, puncturing
The peanut butter jar
We knew despair and wept and held one another and tried to scoop up
Some peanut butter that leaked out
We dipped in some rye bread, but it was not the same
Never again will it be the same, she said
As a goose egg swelled on my head where she had hit me with the bat
Never again I murmured
And heaven has no cheesecake!

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

'Oh great zen master, so wise and learned. I have traveled many thousands of miles and endeared great hardship to seek out your wisdom. May I approach?'

'Yes, my son, come closer. I am old and wise, but my vision grows poor and my hearing fails.'

'Master, I humbly beg your attention.'

'You, who have braved such hardship, have earned the right to approach and ask but one question, and only one.'

'My question is this, oh wise one: What is the best passive thing a person may do with one's life.'

'Cheer against Manchester United, of course. Now get on out, the games about to start.'

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

A Matter of Taste

Cider's too sweet
I am sweet enough
With my tooth rotting grins
With my lackadaisical sins
I will deliver more sweetness with my
Rust bent razor blade an' pipe
Than all the raised thighs in the dance hall
Sweet as those may be

Whisky's too  golden
I am golden skinned too much
With my jaundiced shins
With my yellow stained sins
I will shed off more gold with
My rough hewn song
Than all the trumpets in ancient Rome
Sweet sounding as they were said to be

Lager is too sharp
My knives are sharp enough
With my shimmering scars
With my searing desires
I'll cut your debate in twain
I'll show you more sharp play
Than all the cheats in Rosedale
As deft a touch they claim to be

Vodka's too transparent
I am more opaque
With my lungs filled black with tar
Malcontent enough by far
A toast to the death of the Tsar
I'll down more carnage than
All the Cossacks could swill
Hard wroth riders though they be

I should settle then for water
But rain belongs in the gutter
And it brings too much discourse
Gives me lack of recourse
Fills my head with ill healing
Losses of income and teeth and meaning
Sends everything running
Running down the drain

Which brings me to heady wine
Red dark or clean white
Made from grapes divine
Stain my lips bloody
Make me inviolate
Make me your friend and brother
Or deepest darkest lover
Oh wine my heart belongs to thee

Saturday, 11 January 2014

I Like Swearing (A Drinking Song)

I like swearing
It makes me feel happy
If you don't like me swearing
Why don't you fuck off

I like singing
It makes me merry
If you won't join my singing
Then you can stagger off

I like drinking
It takes away the pain
If you don't like my drinking
Then you can be the one................
Oh you can be the one my dear...........
The one that does abstain

(Chorus sung slowly)
Why don't you piss off
You shant spoil my fun
If you don't like me swearing
At least then pass the rum

I like to run and play
It makes me free
If you don't like my running
Then stop your chasing me

I like climbing
I'll use you as my rungs
If you don't like it brother.............
I said if you don't like it sister.......
Then you just bite your tongue

(Chorus repeats)

by Daniel Smallegange, esquire.

Thursday, 2 January 2014

Frozen Wood

Because frozen wood
Don't burn so good
I wish you were here
But not for your cheer
All your hot air
And the fire of your stare
Would thaw out the wood
And it would burn good