'Oh great zen master, so wise and learned. I have traveled many thousands of miles and endeared great hardship to seek out your wisdom. May I approach?'
'Yes, my son, come closer. I am old and wise, but my vision grows poor and my hearing fails.'
'Master, I humbly beg your attention.'
'You, who have braved such hardship, have earned the right to approach and ask but one question, and only one.'
'My question is this, oh wise one: What is the best passive thing a person may do with one's life.'
'Cheer against Manchester United, of course. Now get on out, the games about to start.'