tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926966887853238503.post5625823099168514965..comments2023-03-26T17:40:55.647-04:00Comments on Evidence From the Car Crash: The ScorpionDaniel Car Crashhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06260515302322584834noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3926966887853238503.post-73149318218819366512009-08-12T06:24:12.825-04:002009-08-12T06:24:12.825-04:00I like the repetition i.e. beginning and ending of...I like the repetition i.e. beginning and ending of piece; it's perfect! Also how this topic allows you to explore opposition/duality. <br /><br />Only changes I would suggest:<br />[...] = REMOVE (...) - Add/shift<br /><br />Waiting<br />Silent and deadly<br />[The scorpion] <br />Both messenger and message<br />Beauty and vengeance<br />Violence and peace<br />Ever cold(,)[the scorpion](at home)<br />In the fiery centre<br />Waiting immobile to catch<br />You(,) [the] thief of hearts<br />You(,) [the] transgressor of <br /><br />I would also reconsider the title to something that abstractly suggests both violence and beauty in the same breath. <br /><br />Hope this is useful. Thanks. <br />p.Pascal-Denis Lussierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10388743851425021099noreply@blogger.com