Saturday, October 19, 2013

NEWS FROM THE FRONT LINES OF OUR WAR AGAINST THE HATED S.G.C.D.A.

Greetings loyal party member from The Society for Evil, Debauchery and Kitten Appreciation.

News from the front lines in our war with hated enemies the nefarious and notoriously clean-cut Society for Good, Chastity and Dog Appreciation. The war grinds on taking a serious and heartbreaking toll. This tragically both in time and underwear. Time which would be better spent on eating our body weight in cheese, for example, or with mammary manipulation perhaps.
But we digress.
A most serious setback in the war on Decency occurred when SGCDA forces attacked our Lubrications and Olfactory Assassinations Department, who's research into developing killing methods that smell really terrific was severely interrupted by three Swedish blonde women who hacked the entire department of scientists to pieces before they could even hit on them or let alone try out some of the new lubricant. They will be sorely missed. They died smelling fantastic.
Also a cyber attack on the orgynarium's power supply caused complete confusion and chaos and a total collapse of Commandant BillyRayBoy's efforts to 'get it on' with several mute chimpanzees and the Donnelly twins. The mood for the evening was utterly ruined and although the twins were fine the chimps will need severe psychiatric counselling. But then again this was likely to happen anyway, knowing BillyRayBoy's eccentric proclivities as we do. However, in a glass half full kind of way, the cover band BillyRayBoy had hired for the night did manage to drown in the pool in all the confusion before they could do 'Stairway to Heaven'.
These deadly blows have left our not so humble society reeling. War is hell, but we must march on: swaying, sipping from cigars, and puffing on rye and cokes, pawing at each other, you know... having a rest, waking up late, bleary eyed, marching on a little bit more...
This message brought to you by the Kareful Kitty Booze Consortium: Why not buy a kitten a bottle of hooch today?
By: Daniel Smallegange

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Life in the Petri Dish


By: Dan Smallegange

A Beast at Prey

There I strode
Into the darkness
With pride and purpose
Failing to heed
Your calls and
Protestations
Alone and watchful
Darkness and solemn
And then I pulled
The knife
And walked and waited
The silver metal
Glinting
In the moonlight
It quelled my fears
And soon my shaking hand
Grew still
I waited and
Watched to see
If my friend or enemy would come
Waiting to kill my friend if I must
Waiting to kill my enemy
If I could
Failing to heed
Your calls and
Protestations
Quiet as it should
Quiet as it must
A beast at prey
Invisible
By: Daniel Smallegange