News from the front lines in our war with hated enemies the nefarious and notoriously clean-cut Society for Good, Chastity and Dog Appreciation. The war grinds on taking a serious and heartbreaking toll. This tragically both in time and underwear. Time which would be better spent on eating our body weight in cheese, for example, or with mammary manipulation perhaps.
But we digress.
A most serious setback in the war on Decency occurred when SGCDA forces attacked our Lubrications and Olfactory Assassinations Department, who's research into developing killing methods that smell really terrific was severely interrupted by three Swedish blonde women who hacked the entire department of scientists to pieces before they could even hit on them or let alone try out some of the new lubricant. They will be sorely missed. They died smelling fantastic.
Also a cyber attack on the orgynarium's power supply caused complete confusion and chaos and a total collapse of Commandant BillyRayBoy's efforts to 'get it on' with several mute chimpanzees and the Donnelly twins. The mood for the evening was utterly ruined and although the twins were fine the chimps will need severe psychiatric counselling. But then again this was likely to happen anyway, knowing BillyRayBoy's eccentric proclivities as we do. However, in a glass half full kind of way, the cover band BillyRayBoy had hired for the night did manage to drown in the pool in all the confusion before they could do 'Stairway to Heaven'.
These deadly blows have left our not so humble society reeling. War is hell, but we must march on: swaying, sipping from cigars, and puffing on rye and cokes, pawing at each other, you know... having a rest, waking up late, bleary eyed, marching on a little bit more...
This message brought to you by the Kareful Kitty Booze Consortium: Why not buy a kitten a bottle of hooch today?