Tuesday, 4 November 2008

The Society for Evil, Debauchery and Kitten Appreciation Presents: Propaganda, Truth's Not So Pretty Little Sister.

I wrote this today. One of many fun little pieces for my comedy world domination Facebook group. Join it already!!! Toasts to EVIL and BACCHUS!!

The Society for Evil, Debauchery and Kitten Appreciation
Presents: Propaganda, Truth's Not So Pretty Little Sister.

First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
First of all, she is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.

See, now you think she's hot an' all wonderful and such like. Don't you? Yes, of course you do! Propaganda wins again! Even though she is not so pretty. Oh wait, now I have to start all over again….Shit! I always do that. Oh well, you get the point. Besides, you wouldn't want to date her anyways, right minger and no sense of humour. And don't even think of dating truth. Man, she is hard on the ego!

1) Propaganda Defined, and as a Useful Tool to Control and Influence.

Propaganda, or 'lying' is a brand new technique where you 'bend' the truth in order to get your populace or organization or kitty cat pacified. For example you say: 'Hey Mittens' if you stop clawing out my eyeballs and coughing up furballs all over the brand new rug I will buy you a brand new Porsche'. (Always go with the BIG lie). Mittens at this point will likely hiss at you and saunter away to destroy something else in the house. Propaganda wins. See, the magic is you don't have to buy her a Porsche. Unless you really want to of course. Sometimes kittens are hard to resist. Just watch they don't scratch up the leather seats of the Porsche though. Uhmm, promise them something else, like a cat treat so they won't.

2) Goons and Foot Soldiers

Goons and foot soldiers in dark times are really quite happy with a little propaganda to prop up their deflating egos and perhaps leaking bodies. Basically they like it when you tell them they are NOT going to be slaughtered all up and NOT going to die horrible shrapnel inflicted deaths, or be tortured unremittingly, or at least only maimed on their luckiest day of the year at this rate in the mad conflict or war or whatever you got them stuck in. So you tell them it is sunny out even when it's raining. Tell them they get ice cream after the battle's done. You tell them 'we're winning, like dude, and all the other dude comradios are not dead an' blown to bits, but have been whisked away on all expenses paid trips to the Caribbean where even, yes, the drinks are included and the food is divine. See it is very similar to lying, but when it comes from a bureaucracy it's called propaganda.

And when times/wars are going well, or you are stuck in boring peacetime until you come up with your next mad scheme for world domination propaganda can also help keep the lads in check. Tell them they only get ice cream on the other side, like, once a week at best. Tell them all the enemy's manicurists are second rate and often expect unreasonable tips. Tell them the enemy often are subjected to plagues of zombies and/or small children (ugghhh, small children!). And you can tell them the enemy's washroom facilities are very dirty and often the doors don't lock properly. Then they'll think they never had it so good!

So, in short, propaganda is a fancy word for lying. And propaganda, truth's not so pretty little sister, is your friend. Shit, I mean,
She is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
She is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
She is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.
She is truth's super fucking sex vixen hot little sister.

Sincerely,
The Evil Management,
A subsidiary of the Cuddles Group.
;)
2 + 2 = 5.

Here is the link if you want to join the revolution.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2299498838

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